


Fitting In

by bunny_d_kate



Category: TOKIO
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 11:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunny_d_kate/pseuds/bunny_d_kate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TOKIO have finally managed to debut but not everyone seems equally happy about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fitting In

„Okay, last one!“

Leader picked up the last card, took a look at it and scrunched up his nose.

“Should we get you your reading glasses?” snickered Taichi who was clearly enjoying this most of all. That game had probably been his idea anyway. Mabo still wasn’t sure why they now had to be filmed doing this, too. But the fans would probably enjoy it, so now they were all gathered around a table in some Chinese restaurant asking each other stupid questions like…

“What made you cry recently?”

Yeah, like that one.

Of course they weren’t expected to talk about deeply personal things during interviews like that. They were idols after all. Just a few tidbits here and there to make their fans feel a little closer to them. Like Taichi’s love for fresh milk in the morning or how Leader had locked himself in a dishwasher once while playing hide and seek. Their keyboarder was completely in his element when it came to pointless stories like this. This time he told them about a story he recently saw in some documentary where an old man tried to earn a living by selling old pieces of cardboard. Though he kept insisting that it had deeply moved him, his version only sent the others into fits of giggles. Those rakugo lessons he’d been taking for his last movie role clearly had left an impression on him.

“I don’t really remember the last time I saw Nagase cry though. Does he cry at all?” Leader suddenly piped up.

At once, the documentary was forgotten and all eyes were on their vocalist who was now scratching the stubble on his chin in thought.

“I guess I don’t really cry, do I?”

A little discussion broke loose in which everyone was trying to remember any recent incident involving a teary-eyed Nagase but with no proper results. The others seemed genuinely impressed.

“Well, as expected from a big monkeyboy like you.” Taichi commented with a smirk and a friendly dig in the ribs.

Leader nodded in honest agreement which made Gussan burst into laughter and ended in more Leader-bullying from Taichi’s part. The usual antics when all five of them were together like this.

So the conversation continued without any further mentioning of the topic and went right into another food corner where everyone had to pick a card to decide who was allowed to eat some of the Chinese specialties the staff had provided for them. Understandably, the poor loser was not amused.

“So I get nothing?? You gotta be kidding!!” Mabo whined and let his head sink onto the table in defeat.

“You’re lucky you didn’t get anything. Otherwise you’d be bathing your face in it right now.”

While the others were happily digging into their food, Mabo kept on sulking but apart from juicy bits of Peking duck something else crossed his mind. Though he couldn’t really think of the last time he saw Nagase cry, he clearly remembered the first time. Of course he didn’t mention it just now. This wasn’t something meant to end up on a DVD. In fact, he had never really told the other members about it either. Thinking about it now, the two of them had never really talked about it again afterwards though Nagase had mentioned it briefly during his first appearance on Shonen Club Premium. Judging from Taichi’s surprised reaction back then, this episode in their band history seemed to have gone pretty much unnoticed by most of the other members and Nagase had always been keen on keeping it that way.

~~~

When their drummer burst into the dressing room, still high on adrenaline from their last performance, poor Nagase who was currently its only occupant nearly jumped off the couch in surprise. And Mabo wouldn’t be Mabo if he didn’t notice the piece of paper he was now hurriedly trying to hide away behind one of the cushions. A huge smirk forming on his face he stepped closer, his eyes never leaving his friend’s embarrassed face.

“What’s that? A love letter? Come on~! Show me!!!”

“No way!” Nagase snapped and promptly sat on the cushion in a poor attempt to keep it out of reach from way too nosy band members. Of course, Mabo wouldn’t have any of that. He was the older one here anyway so he practically had the right to do… well, anything. Including pouncing on a now squealing Nagase which combined with his current haircut made him look even more like a girl.

“Oh stop making such a fuss! She can’t be that ugly.”

After some more cursing and struggling, Mabo finally managed to get his hands on the ominous paper and jumped around the room holding it up into the air like he’d just won a gold medal. Nagase was still on his heels but he’d been living in the dorms long enough to know how to properly take away other people’s stuff.

“Now, what do we have he-“

He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and Nagase who hadn’t seen it coming bumped right into him almost knocking him over.

“What is this??”

Mabo’s eyes grew wide as he stared in disbelieve at the letter in his hand. The last time he’d checked, love letters didn’t include posters with crossed out faces on them. That and…

“We don’t want you here.”

“Go back to Yokohama!!”

“You’re not good enough for TOKIO.”

His eyes now darting back towards his friend, Mabo noticed Nagase standing next to him with slumped shoulders staring at the floor and biting his lower lip.

“Who wrote this??”

“I don’t know…”

Nagase’s voice was small and he looked so different from the usually cheery brat who was as annoying as he was likeable.

Mabo had always wondered how he’d feel in a situation like this. Thrown into an already formed group and forced to stand at the front even though he was by far the youngest and least experienced. Wouldn’t that be horrifying? But the kid never let it show. Instead there was always that huge smile on his face showing off his slightly crooked teeth. Today that façade was beginning to crumble though.

“Did you get any more of these?”

No answer.

“Did you? Oi, Nagase!”

The following nod was so slight that one might have actually missed it while blinking once.

Mabo could hear his own pulse drumming in his ears. The letter he was still holding was getting more and more crumpled as his hands were clenched into fists.

“This is bullshit! Did you tell the others about this?”

As if switched on again, Nagase suddenly seemed to spring back into action and grabbed him by the shoulders his eyes wide and intent.

“Don’t tell anyone about this!”

“What? Why?? We have to tell them! We should tell Johnny-san about this, too. This is bad.”

He could feel his friend’s hands shaking while his fingers were still digging into the fabric of his shirt. It was obvious that he was trying to get a hold of himself even though he was clearly on the verge of bursting into tears. When he spoke his voice was steadier than Mabo had expected it though.

“It’s no big deal. This is my problem. No. It’s not even a problem. I don’t want to bother anyone with this, you know. Why should I worry them with something that’s soon gonna be forgotten anyway? I’m not a kid anymore. I can take care of myself.”

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re 16! Of course you’re still a kid. And that stupid pride of yours doesn’t help anyone. At least tell Anii about this. He’ll know what to do.”

Nagase’s eyes were pleading now.

“Please don’t tell them. I’ll get through this on my own. Please, Matsuoka.”

Mabo closed his eyes and heaved an irritated sigh. Unfortunately, his heart wasn’t made of stone. It didn’t help much either that this one looked a little too much like a girl...

“Fine…”

~~~

He really didn’t tell anyone. At least not directly. That counted as keeping your promise, right?

 

“Ne Anii… can I ask you something?”

Yamaguchi looked up from his bass that he’d idly been strumming for a while now while Mabo was pretending to read some magazine he found lying on the table.

“Hm?”

For him Yamaguchi was the first choice to talk about things like this. Of course they were both guys and as such didn’t really talk about their feeling and other embarrassing stuff like that but if a talk between men was necessary he could at least be sure that Yamaguchi would take him seriously and not use the situation to take the piss out of him like certain other members.

He’d practically been growing up with Yamaguchi by his side and had taken an instant liking to the guy with the kind eyes and the somewhat calming aura around him. That and the fact that he was the coolest big brother anybody could ever wish for, related by blood or not.

“There’s this friend of mine and he has a bit of a problem.”

“Are you having girls trouble again?”

“This isn’t about me!!”

“Yeah sure. That’s why you’re blushing right now.” Yamaguchi smirked.

Damn, hormones were such a nuisance sometimes. Why did he have to turn bright red even when there was nothing to be embarrassed about? He really couldn’t wait for puberty to finally be over.

“Shut up! No honestly. My friend is having some trouble and I don’t know how to help him.”

“Someone from your class?”

“Uhm…”

He didn’t like lying to Yamaguchi but this time it was necessary to keep his promise with Nagase.

“Yeah…”

“Okay, what’s his problem?”

“He’s being bullied. Like people call him names and say mean things about him and stuff.”

At least it wasn’t a total lie. Just a little twist of reality. That wasn’t too bad, right?

“Is there a reason for the bullying? Is he fat or something?”

“Not really. Well, he’s new, you know?”

“Ah, like a transfer student?”

“Right… and everyone’s saying that they don’t want him in the class and that he should go back to where he came from and all that bullshit. He’s not showing it but I’m sure it must hurt him, too.”

“I’m sure it does. It’s hard to get thrown into a group that’s already been together for a long time. Friendships have been formed and social hierarchy is already important in high school. Being the new kid is never easy.”

“I know but what should I do?”

Yamaguchi frowned and scratched the back of his head for a while before he spoke again.

“But he’s your friend you say, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“That’s already a good thing, isn’t it? That means he has at least someone he can trust. Just let him know that you’re on his side. Stand up for him when the others are being mean again and don’t look away. That’s already a pretty big thing you can do for him.”

“I guess so.”

“You’re a good guy, Matsuoka and I’m sure you’re friend is, too. Just stand up for each other and you’ll be fine.”

“Thanks Anii.”

“Sure thing.”

And there it was again. That reassuring smile that always made him feel like things really would be okay. Maybe Anii was right.

~~~

During the next couple of weeks Mabo tried to keep an eye on Nagase while not being too obvious about it. He knew he’d find it pretty irritating if one of his friends suddenly turned into a creepy stalker. But apparently there was nothing to worry about. At least he didn’t notice any more suspicious letters or the like. Maybe Nagase had been right after all and this had been more of a one-time thing. It was just so like him to get worked up about some little incident like that. Thank God he hadn’t told Yamaguchi the whole story. If he had asked Nagase about it, both of them would have been pretty embarrassed.

Wondering if he could get Leader to lend him some money for a bowl of ramen he packed his bags ready to leave the studio after practice in the afternoon. Though the good thing about Leader was that he usually forgot to ask for the money back afterwards so it was more like being treated to dinner after all.

The sight that greeted him when he opened the door to the back entrance made him forget about food in an instant though. Just a few feet away their youngest band member had been forced into a corner of the building by a bunch of girls. And these weren’t the excitedly screaming ones they knew from their concerts. These girls were angry and the happy giggling had been replaced by furious insults. Nagase was standing with his back against the wall, looking paralyzed like a chased rabbit even though he was at least one head taller than most of them.

“It’s all your fault!”

That’s when something inside of him snapped. Without thinking about the consequences he dashed forward and pushed his way through the agitated mob. For a moment it seemed like the girls couldn’t decide whether they should keep going or faint at the sight of the newly arrived idol. Mabo didn’t wait for them to make up their mind but grabbed Nagase’s hand and pulled him along while pushing a few of them aside, probably with more force than was actually necessary.

Cursing all the while he got them back inside the building and didn’t stop until they’d reached the little changing room on the first floor that he knew how to lock from the inside.

“What the fuck?!”

His fist collided with the door and sent a sharp jolt of pain through his entire body. The room was silent for a while apart from Mabo’s furious huffing and puffing.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

When he turned around to look at his friend, Nagase was pale as a ghost.

“What?”

“You can’t treat fans like that. You’ll get yelled at.”

Still not thinking about himself. This guy was unbelievable.

“Like I care. Besides. Those aren’t fans. Real fans don’t do stuff like that. Be thankful that they weren’t guys. I would have smashed their faces in, too.”

He could feel defiance seeping into his voice. Why did he have to defend himself for protecting a friend anyway? Unthankful brat.

Nagase slumped down on the couch and rested his head in his hands. Mabo could hear him say something but his voice was too faint to fully reach his ears so he sat down in front of the couch to get himself within earshot.

“What if they are right though?”

His voice was still nothing more than a whisper and it got shakier the more his emotions got out of control. It was painful to watch and Mabo felt his heart tightening with every hushed word.

“What if I’m not good enough? What if I’m ruining this band? What if-“

“It’s not your fault that he left!!”

Mabo’s voice echoed through the room making the following silence seem even more deafening. He hadn’t meant to shout like that. Maybe it was just a desperate attempt to finally make his friend understand when he had run out of other ideas how to do so. They were guys after all.

And guys also didn’t know how to handle tears like those that were now dripping onto the floor in front of him. Where was Anii when you needed him? He surely could cheer up others without starting to cry himself. Rubbing his eyes as inconspicuously as possible he tried to reach for Nagase’s back which was proving a little difficult because of his current sitting position and ended up as a slightly awkward petting of his knee. Hopefully that still got the feeling across.

“We are TOKIO now. They’ll realize it sooner or later. And then we’ll stand on top. All five of us, I promise.”

 

Another promise he’d been able to keep. And this time without any exceptions.

~~~

“Who’s up for yakiniku?”

“Didn’t you just eat?”

“But that was just gyoza. I need meat!”

“Say, if there was a cow walking past you on the street. Would you jump on it and dig right in?”

“What? Like here in Shinjuku?”

“Yeah, didn’t you read that article in the newspaper last week? Cattle run loose in city centre.”

“Which newspaper was it?”

“… I was just kidding, Leader.”

“Oh…”

“Leave him alone, guys.”

“So? Yakiniku?”

“Your treat?”

“Ah shoot, I think I forgot to bring my wallet.”

“Just because you’re the youngest doesn’t mean we have to treat you to dinner until the end of time. You already get all the fame, girls AND your own documentaries so shut up!”

“Aaaww~ you’re so cute when you’re jealous. Besides. You were in that documentary, too. And you made fun of me.”

“Because you deserve it, monkey boy!”

 

Mabo had always been more of the observer. It probably came with his position as a drummer. Watching his friends’ backs; being part of the whole but still able to notice things that maybe others wouldn’t. In over ten years some things hadn’t changed at all. They were still just a bunch of dorks trying to earn a living with the thing they loved the most in life. Some things had changed though. And he was glad they did.


End file.
